Dad’s Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, Dad’s nowhere to be found

He’s out on the prowl with a leap and a bound

He left all his shopping for the very last instant

With all that was happening, his mind was quite distant

The children were all resting, zoned out on their phones

They didn’t even notice that dad had not shown

Mom on her tablet trying to update her Net card

Had all settled down til the start of Die Hard

When at the Couche Tard, there arose such a clatter

Dad slammed on the brakes like it really didn’t matter                                                                                                                                                                    

The clerk was so startled by the noise and the racket

That he fell off his stool and broke the sign off it’s bracket

The sweat on dad’s face was glistening like wax paper

The clerk knew in a moment this was no illegal caper

For what came to mind was immediately clear

This poor daft father had just realized Christmas was near

He wasted no time and as quick as a wink

Raced up and down aisle only pausing to think

People he needed to buy for they all came to mind

And he called them by name hoping a gift he would find

For Jesse a Frostee, no that wouldn’t do

It would be melted by morning and watery too

For Kathy a Mars bar and a Kit Kat for Beth

A Kinder surprise for the kid with bad breath

The dog and the cat, oh look some pet toys

And some Christmas Ice Cream for my wife, my great joy

Dad wasted no time and filled up bag after bag

The clerk trying to keep up with every tag

The register climbed as the counter did fill

And finally the job done he asked for the bill

Two hundred and six dollars the clerk he did say

And dad pulled out his card with a lot of dismay

He paid for the items and asked for more sacks

He could put one in each bag and write their name on the back

Off to his rumbling wagon he strode

He started it up and drove out to the road

To the top of the hill and now into the valley

Around one more corner and then sneak down the back alley

Up the back porch, his step light the cat’s

He snuck in the back door but tripped over the mats

His wife yelled to him from the living room chair

“Pick up your feet you big clumsy bear”

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

and giving a nod, up to the bathroom he rose.

You could hear him declare as he went down the back hall

Merry Christmas to you and now rest until next fall.

Todd MacDonald